So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
