Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
