And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
