i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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