One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
