I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
