Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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