I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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