Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize