i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
