she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
