When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
