don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think your dad took our porno
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize