I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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