Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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