when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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