I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
