he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
