We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
