Pappa wants mamma naked
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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