Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
