You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
