If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
