but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
