why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
