so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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