Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
