i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
