Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
