let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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