he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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