I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
