he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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