What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
