I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
