I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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