Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
