he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
