I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
