Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Still dying that you shit outside
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
