i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
