At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
