Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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