Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
