I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We had sex on a dog bed..
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
