My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
