I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
