what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Are we still banned from the library?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
