I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize