No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
farters have to be the big spoon...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
