i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
