Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
