The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
