Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
