I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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