ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
