there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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