Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
