We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
