guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
