It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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