Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
