the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
