no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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