Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
