handjob tips. give me some.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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