I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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